My living room stinks.

Its not the horrific stench of “Its the middle of summer and I’ve hidden a milkshake somewhere in one of my toy boxes and you won’t find it til you see the maggots crawling over the side”.  (Yes, that really happened when my son was in 1st grade.)

Nor is it the throw-up-in-my-mouth-a-little reek that’s the result of Daddy knowing he has a problem with lactose, but drank milk anyway (I won’t go into further details, that’s already TMI).

At first the light aroma smelled a bit like a pepper bush/tree that I remember in a friend’s yard where I grew up.  I moved around the room, then around the house and the epicenter seemed to be around my little nest (couch).  As I moved around the house, it wasn’t as apparent, but I’d get a faint whiff.  No one else seems to be able to smell it.

In alarm, I began to suspect it was me.  I sniffed my shirt, my bra and everything I could.  Don’t try to visualize that, it ain’t pretty.  My hair is still too short to reach to my nose, but I wondered if one of my hair-care products had gone bad.  I took another shower anyway, just in case.

Afterward, I settled into my nest again and at first all I could smell was shampoo and soap, but then the odor creeped in again.  Maybe something under my couch?  Its too bulky to move on my own, so I had to wait for hubby to get home.  Then I apparently got used to the smell and forgot.

The next day, it was still there and growing more pungent.  I searched under cushions, shined a flashlight under the couch, pulled it out just enough to see behind it…nothing!  I even put my nose against the A/C vent in that room.  A few days later I finally remember to ask the husband to move the couch…still nothing!

A week later, I’ve torn apart the living room and still can’t find the cause.  The odor seems to seep into my hair and clothes, so I’m self-conscious about stinking when I leave the house.  I’ve tried scented sprays and powder on the carpet and even lemon juice to combat the smell, but nothing seems to work for more than a few minutes.

The only explanations I can come up with now is either I’m having olfactory hallucinations or we’re being haunted by an odd-smelling ghost.