You Don’t Want to Go Home Again

Vacation is over and Halleluiah! school is about to begin.  Returning home was a mixed bag of emotions.  I was definitely ready to get back to my nest and my familiar surroundings.  But I was also filled with dread because usually within 10 seconds of crossing the threshold, I’m in a foul mood.

My husband usually doesn’t go on the summer trips to my Mom’s house so he can save his vacation days for the holiday trips and he gets bored there.  So he was “home alone” for 9 days.  He outdid himself this time.

1.  He has dirtied every dish, cup and piece of silverware in the house and left them covering the counters, sink, and stove…usually unrinsed so there is still leftover food in them.

2.  This has resulted in the fruit fly colony that’s infested my kitchen.  Luckily, I’d seen Jen Kehl’s post on how to deal with those pests and its working nicely.

3.  What little counter space wasn’t covered with dishes served as an ant maze.  I had warned the hubs before I left to watch for them and gave him his very own can of Raid to keep them at bay when they re-emerged.  He didn’t use it.

4.  He invaded my nest area (my couch spot–yes, we have those), disorganized my things and left it occupied by restoration manuals, parts magazines, his papers everywhere, empty beer bottles and a salt shaker (???).  I had to clean all that up before I could even sit down anywhere.

5.  He did his laundry.  And left six loads of clean clothes piled on top of my desk.  Not in baskets, just crumpled up in mounds.

6.  He bought and drank a whole gallon of milk.  When he’s lactose intolerant.  The house reeks and I don’t think my toilet will ever be the same.

7.  The food I cooked and left in the refrigerator for him to eat while I was gone was still there.  In the containers.  Untouched.  With what might have been penicillin growing on it.

8.  The garbage can is jammed full and there’s another bag of garbage beside the can, leaking “something” all over the floor.  There are four empty cans out on the porch that he couldn’t manage to use without me here to remind him to take the trash out.

And the worst violation of all…

9.  He used my iced tea pitcher to make grape kool-aid in.

I spent most of my first day home disinfecting and sanitizing my kitchen and battling bugs.  Today, if I feel like it, I may start folding and hanging up his laundry…or I may just throw it on his side of the bed so maybe he’ll get the hint and deal with it himself.

I just want a vacation from my vacation now.

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7 comments

    • Dream

      I knew what I was getting myself into. He went from his momma’s house (where she picked up after him) to his first wife, back to his momma, then our home. I think this was his passive-aggressive way of saying I was gone too long.

  1. Lance

    The roles are kinda reversed at my house because I’m the clean, organized, OCD, crazy one and my wife and girls are laid back (to a degree) and messy. But hey, the dude’s at home, he’s trying and he sounds like a good man.

    • Dream

      I’m not OCD about housekeeping by no stretch of the imagination, but I draw the line at bugs and things growing where they shouldn’t be. He’s just used to having someone follow him around to clean his messes and doesn’t think about that when I’m gone. He’s a wonderful man, husband and father. I just don’t see how he could have come home every night to the house like that and not done…something.